Look for My Own Happiness

By | December 05, 2018

Mas, thanks for letting me to be just me. Now, I don't really care anymore if I can impress you by just being me or not. Because I'm really happy with myself right now. Like seriously... I just realize that I've got lots to do and I don't wanna wasting my time just to impress you. But the fact that I do admire you will remain here. The fact that I do hope to know you more is still here. You know what? I always imagine someday we'll travel together just to chill and enjoy the moment. 

You know? The moment when you challenged me to impress you to talk something greater, ideas, issues and knowledge make me realize that I actually have lots things to talk to but I never had change to talk about it with someone else because I am too focus to my depression which make me have this victim mentality disorder. Thanks anyway to putting the truth right in front of my face. 

Do you know that I even make list of things that might be I could discuss it with you but I don't have enough confident to even start it. I am afraid it will be too boring for you like that DST thing that we discuss this morning. But now, I don't care anymore...

Of course knowing that you're actually care about me makes me very happy and that good morning text and that simple question you asked me about winter time make me even happier but I don't want to depend on those things anymore. I want to be happy with who I am without depending on anyone else. I am happy with myself. I am the one who responsible for my own happiness. 

For now on I will be very busy to do my things and to look for my own happiness. See you when I see you and have a nice day!

***

This cloudy Sunday I read about things that I can really relate with your insight about how our relationship should be lived from the first place. Women are not rehabilitation centers for damage man and vice versa. Now I understand that no one should enter a relationship if they're thinking that they can change their partner. Adult relationship is when two people who are happy with who they are, decided to share this happiness with one another.

This is really in the same boat with your expectation;

"Because in a relationship my expectation is..."

"Kita berada dalam sebuah hubungan untuk saling mengasihi, bukan mengasihani."

Apart from fulfilling your expectation, I do really hope that I can be really happy with who I am right now and who I am in the future and even who I was in the past. I'm still learning though... hehehe

PS I'll never stop talking about those 'printilan' things which you found it boring. :p

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